I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
