wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
