So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Found your dick twin last night
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
