I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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