We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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