I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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