Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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