He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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