I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
