id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
