That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
