is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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