I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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