I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Green mimosas i think yes
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
