I'm sorry my penis didn't work
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Randomize
