Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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