I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
