porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
