Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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