Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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