well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
