You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
