I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
