I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
