You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
