if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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