Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize