Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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