I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Randomize
