I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
