sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
