I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
