I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
