Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
