I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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