i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
