also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
