Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
