We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
