Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Randomize