he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
