So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You may now shotgun with the bride
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
