part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
