so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
