She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
