i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
