Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
