took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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