this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize