Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
