I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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