South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
