My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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