I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Dick very happy bro
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
