the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize
