I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
